Two heart psyche
by lordhaxsupreme
Summary: Joy and the others were forever trying to help him, but he never seemed to forgive himself. The war had drained him, and he had done the unspeakable. It was their job to help him heal, and seeing as he had the rest of time to do so, it didn't matter how long it would take. Now, after all this time, things might finally be looking up.
1. Introduction

**Introduction**

Doctor Who was my first great passion and this is the product of both my favourite TV show (joint with Star Trek), and my favourite Pixar movie. This crossover will cover the Doctor's life after the Time war from his emotions perspective, and will go through a lot of the emotional turmoil and heartache the Doctor faced. This idea might be a complete flop when it reaches the end, but if it goes well I hope you will share it with your friends.

Joy will be male, as will be Fear, Sadness and Disgust. Anger, however, will most probably be female. Some events in the story will not be from canon sources, because there was a lack of sufficient background to explain the way he feels, or because it just adds extra depth to the story. Sometimes companions will also be looked into, especially if their point of view is necessary to the plot of that particular event.

If the story becomes overly popular, a sequel will be written as well, but for now, I hope you enjoy _Two heart psyche_ (pronounced _sigh-key_ ). Leave any reviews so I can improve and revise any details in later parts. Thank you!


	2. Chapter 1: Alone

**Chapter 1: Alone**

Why did he do it you ask? It was the only way to stop them all. The daleks and the Time lords, all as bad as one another. That is why he did it. And every waking hour, it haunts him. The fact he allowed himself to wipe them all away almost drove him insane, just like Morbius and Rassilon of old.

He suppressed me and allowed Sadness, Disgust and Anger to take control. Sadness for the grief he was suffering on the inside. Disgust for the contempt he felt for his own actions. Anger for the unfairness of the whole situation; why was he not taken along with them? What evil entity was playing cruel games with the Doctor? Why could he not rest in peace?

Alone in the universe he was, and alone he stayed for a very long time. I wasn't needed, not then.

Fear didn't need to come out either, seeing as there wasn't anything to be afraid of anymore. Not in the real world anyway. There was the occasional horror lurking in dream productions and whoever was on dream duty would deal with some of it, but often enough it came down to Fear to sort out the mess that was caused. But I still wasn't needed much. Why would a Time Lord so riddled with guilt have a need for Joy in his life?

For the last few months we have been trying to numb the pain, visiting new worlds, saving civilisations from a host of threats, quite often of their own doing...oh the sorrows of the universe have been so underestimated.

With the doctor only recently regenerated, I began to think to myself that perhaps this could finally be a change for the better, we have been hiding for too long. We could visit an old favourite place of ours, somewhere we haven't been for a long winds were a changing once more, I could feel it. And maybe, just maybe, he could finally be happy again.


	3. Chapter 2: Rose

**Chapter 2: Rose**

We came back to the one place we've called home for centuries (in the Doctor's timeline at least). To be honest, I've actually been dreading it. Despite everything, I still get chills whenever we come back here, and I don't know why.

The people that live on this planet can be a really nice bunch, I mean, they invented jammy dodgers for goodness sake. But some of them can be cruel, calculating and destructive. Yes, Earth maybe a second home to the Doctor and the other four, but I dislike it very much. Just look at all we have done for them in the past: saving them from Sontarans, Cybermen, Daleks, themselves (well, kind of, in a small kind of way). And despite all this, they still distrust me. So, back to Earth as they say, today was another day of saving the planet from yet another disaster. Autons, plastic like creatures, and they were all over London, just like the one's from years ago. One of the good things that came out of all of this was the new girl, called herself Rose. I saved her from the Autons, but she ended up saving the Doctor from himself. If she hadn't turned up, we'd still be facing all of this alone, and if there's one thing I fear the most, it would be the loneliness we have felt for so long.

I didn't let this show though, not to anyone. The years have taught me this. No fear. No more of me. All of the others seem to like her too. Rose that is. She's strong, smart, good looking. Almost perfect, I do say. I wonder how long she'll stay. Hopefully for a long time yet.


	4. Chapter 3: Big green men

**Chapter 3: Big green men**

For the last couple of nights we cried ourselves to sleep. I know I shouldn't do it but I couldn't help it. All of those people that were lost, wiped out of existence, just to end the war that had cost too much.

He could still remember the faces, and it was this that made us cry. The children. All those children. It didn't matter how much we try to repent, we will never be able to be clear of our crime. I know Joy wishes he could come out more often, and Disgust wishes he didn't, but…sometimes I get the feeling that they don't even know what to do any more.

We returned to London after 12 months, but we had only meant to be gone half a day. I came out for that, not in full force, but so we could be sorry for all the trouble we had caused to Jackie and Ricky. I don't think she took it so well, and I couldn't find an excuse to make it better, so I let her be mad at us.

But after that I came off the console, we had a job to do after all. Aliens had arrived and Joy finally worked his way back to the limelight. It was another day of the job, one we had been doing for almost a thousand years. Saving a world, doing what he does best.

I didn't want to be a part of it, but the others left me no choice. Joy had the Doctor let UNIT draw him and Rose in to deal with the potential menace, and then once there, the Slitheen revealed themselves. I don't like the Slitheen, big, bad bullies. They disguise themselves in the skin of people they've killed and they take up positions of power so they can bring about an invasion. It was sad to see the Doctor so helpless, held captive by these Green skinned monsters, and Fear tried to help the Doctor take control. Only through sheer determination did we beat them, and a little help from Rose, Jackie, Ricky (or is it Mickey? I can never remember) and Harriet Jones. I felt humbled by all the people that helped us fight back, and I think the Doctor will always be grateful, no matter what happens next.


	5. Chapter 4: An old enemy

**Chapter 4: An old enemy**

The Daleks survive. After all this time, after all we've been through, and they continue to scour the universe, intent on exterminating every last race that is not one of them. I feel a rage building inside me every moment I hear their name, and it takes my full power to keep me from the console and letting it all out.

The Doctor almost lost it a couple of months ago when Rose awakened the damaged Dalek in van Statten's warehouse, and if Sadness hadn't held me back I would have spent every last ounce of my strength destroying the creature.

Even after it had ended its own life, the Doctor and I were outraged in the fact that it had managed to survive the Moment, and the feeling stayed under the surface for all this time.

Bad Wolf corporation. Pah! As if it wasn't enough for one to live on, or a few hundred. No...it had to be the Emperor, plotting an invasion, manipulating the fate of human civilisation for centuries while under the guise of a television station. All of us took on the mantle to battle and wipe this menace out, even Joy took pleasure in annihilating every last one of them, crushing them. I guess joy came from our hate for these monsters, and I regret none of it.

We had lost a good friend there on the station. Captain Jack was his name, he was an American from the future and goodness he was so, so brash. Got struck down by a Dalek. Sadness mourned for him a little but hey, that's not my job, and I made sure Sadness didn't let the Doctor show it.

But once it was over, we had finally worn ourselves out. It was time for a new face, a new life, a new us, and almost as soon as it started, this incarnation came to an end. Was it a beginning of something new? Most definitely, but I was very ruffled by the change, it was all too fast. Will I grow to like the new doctor, the new look? Only time will tell. Time will tell us, whether I like it or not.


	6. Chapter 5: Regeneration

**Chapter 5: Regeneration**

I find this new body a bit hard to get used to, I mean, we had to stay in bed for days nursing ourselves better for goodness sake. How on earth are we meant to go about saving places if, after every single goddamn regeneration, we have to stay in bed recuperating? Oh, and the nice leather jacket we used to wear doesn't even suit us anymore! That ruined my day even more than the new Doctor, and it meant I had to pick out a new costume for all of us.

We got better eventually, just in time to save the humans from the Sycorax, and boy did we show 'em what for. Ugly, nasty creatures those Sycorax (it might not phase the other four, but looking at them made me sick), and they cut off the Doctor's hand in a sword fight, the devils. But we showed them all right, we grew our hand back using all our leftover regeneration energy and beat the hell out of them, and in turn the Earth was saved.

Now, where was I? Oh yes, the costume dilemma. I had the Doctor spend his time looking through our seemingly limitless wardrobe, where there were so many outlandish clothes it might as well have been make-believe. I began mumbling to myself as we went along, because we had a bit of a problem…

"I can't be having any old shirt or jacket for my Doctor, but I was rather fond of that bomber jacket we were wearing just recently. A cricket outfit perhaps? No, we've done that one before, it's _**so**_ 5 generations ago. Nor do we want the magician's cloak or the knitted scarf." But now I wish I hadn't mentioned the scarf, it got Sadness going off on his usual rambles,

"Oh I miss that scarf, so cuddly and warm, makes me kinda sad. Say, what happened to Sarah?"

But thankfully Sadness was interrupted as Joy spotted something that he thought was perfect, "How about that one, Disgust? You know, the pinstripe suit near the back?"

So we tried it on, stood in front of the mirror so we could see just how good Doctor number ten looked.

"He looks like a bloomin' pencil. Don't get me wrong Joy, I love pencils, but you shouldn't dress like one!"

"Well I don't care! He's being a pencil, _our_ pencil, and you're gonna have to get used to it."

And get used to it I did, albeit reluctantly. I persuaded the others to let him have a coat and some nice trainers, and we even got to put on some really fashionable spectacles from time to time (Joy would probably laugh there and say " _Time to time? Oh you crack me up!_ " Luckily for me he won't be reading this so you don't have to worry about _**that**_ ).

So, off on adventures to goodness knows where again, saving people that quite probably shouldn't be saved, but then again, it's what the Doctor does, no matter how many times I try to dissuade him otherwise.


End file.
